Every Home (except mine) should have one...

The following is a paid presentation by, well, me. Why? Why not. I've not written anything for a while, and I thought I'd make use of the advert I wrote trying to sell something on my work's intranet. So, sit back, hold on and prepare to be dazzled...


How often do you get the chance to own a TV star? I'll tell you how often. NOT OFTEN! Well, today is your lucky day. Thanks to a combination of a clever marketing campaign, my need for car insurance, and Compare the Market coming up with the best deal, I am now the lucky owner of a fluffy meerkat, known to his friends as Yakov, to his enemies as Yakov and to those who don't know him as "who?". 


Sadly, due to a clash of personalities, a schism has developed between Yakov and I, and one of us has to leave. Given that I pay the mortgage, I'm staying, but, all is not lost, no, for verily, it means I can now offer you the chance to own your very own, mostly house trained and only semi naked plush meerkat!


Thinking about it, it's kinda messed up that they are happy to send out a meerkat wearing a shirt, tie and waistcoat, yet utterly bereft of any lower body adornments. The little guy is taking 'going commando' to the next level. So, if the thought of sharing your home with a bare-assed meerkat makes you want to curl up in a corner, rocking back and forth saying "what has been seen, cannot be unseen", then Yakov probably isn't for you. Unless you are a dab hand at making teensy-tiny little pairs of trousers, in which case, go for it. 


So, to the nitty and, if you will, the gritty. You are probably reading this thinking "well, like everyone else in the world, I'd love to own a TV star, but he's going to cost at least hundreds, if not thousands of pounds and I work at MGt, I'd have to do a couple of hours overtime to have a spare few hundred". Fear not! For such is my generosity, I am not going to ask £1,000 for Yakov, although he is indeed worth such a sum, indeed, he is worth 10 times such a sum, but, in these austere times, I know that people are looking for a deal. So, not a grand, not £500, not even £100, no, ladies, gentlemen and all those who fall into neither camp, I am going to give you this unique opportunity to own Yakov for just £25. Let me say that in words too, just in case you didn't believe the numbers. Twenty. Five. Pounds. 


Lets look at the reasons you want to own Yakov:

• Has the easy charm of a toymaker. 
• Won't keep you up all night chattering like some other meerkats. 
• Doesn't eat much, indeed, doesn't eat anything which has the added bonus of meaning he doesn't poop either! 
• Has a shirt, tie, waistcoat and glasses. 
• If you are a single guy, think of the chat up opportunities! "Hey baby, wanna come home and see my meerkat?" You will be beating them off with the wet end of the proverbial stick with a wet end. 
• If you are a single girl, think of the chat up opportunities! "Hey handsome, you know, I've got a meerkat at home that would love to meet you". You will have your pick of any guy in town! 
• If you have kids who are all like "mum/dad (delete as applicable), I want a pet, I want a pet, I want a pet", then your problems are solved! You can go home and say "yo, I got you a meerkat! How's about them apples!" 

Is there a downside to owning Yakov? Apart from the butt-nakedness, none at all!!


So, what are you waiting for. Take this opportunity to not only hown a TV star, but to own a piece of history. When the fables of this age are spoken in tones of hushed reverence, chief amongst them will be the legend of the holy meerkat Yakov, and his human family. Why pass up your chance at immortality?