Just when you thought it was safe...

I'm vaguely aware that I've not written anything for a while. So, here I am. I've not been avoiding writing, I've just not had the inspiration, or, to put it another way, I've had nothing to write about. I know what you are thinking... 'no change from usual then!'

I can see tonight's blog being even more rambling than usual.  I wanted to write something tonight to undertake a little experiment - as I think everyone who reads this knows, I've been having a bit of a tough time of it recently, feeling down etc, but the past few days I've felt a fair bit better, with any trips into the darkest recesses of my mind being of the more fleeting variety. So, I wanted to write something so that a few days from now, I could go back and compare this with what I wrote when I was in my bad place and see if there are any stylistic differences.  I doubt there will be, but hey, nothing wrong with trying!

So, what to write about. Actually, I had a thought earlier - there are 4 seasons.  That's not enough, so I wish to introduce a 5th season.  Joining winter, spring, summer and autumn (or fall for our colonial cousins - interesting point to note: autumn in the UK was once called fall, at roughly the same time as many people as could were leaving these shores for the new world.  Autumn was used too, but fall was more prevalent, for some reason fall stuck in the US whilst autumn won that linguistic battle in the UK) will be season number 5 - Scotland.

You see, in Scotland we have weather which appears to be at best, extratemporal, at worst... well, I don't even know what! Never mind four seasons in 1 day, Scotland can have 4 seasons in 1 hour.  Sometimes as many as 3 or 4 of the seasons happening concurrently.  Today was a case in point - the sun was shining in a most summerly fashion, we had spring downpours and winterly winds. No wonder the topic of the weather is a constant point of discussion for Britons.   So, when would the season of Scotland start? Well, that would be on Jan 1st. And it would end, of course, December 31st. Scotland is the only place I know where you would need to pack sunscreen, a towel and a cagoule for a trip to the shops.  Or to go and get a deep fried Mars bad. No, I'm not joking, I wish I was (and yes, I've tried one, it was foul!).

Scottish cuisine is often slated, and more often than not, rightly so. I mean when you think about it, our national dish is essentially the bits of animal which are normally thrown out, cooked in it's own stomach (and despite that, is damn tasty!).  Most Glaswegians idea of a salad is the cold chips (or fries, if you prefer) left over from the night before. However, there are a lot of Scottish dishes which are pretty good. I say 'a lot', some. Ok, a couple. Cullen Skink, when done well, is good, I mean I don't like it, but I'm told it's good, whilst chicken tikka masala is pretty awesome.  I know what you are thinking, but according to the legend, chicken tikka masala was born in Glasgow, when a discerning diner at an Indian restaurant asked the chef to take back his dry chicken tikka and "fling some gravy on it, pal". The chef concocted a sauce of various spices and a tomato base, and tikka masala was born.  Of course, that could all be bollocks, but it's a good story nonetheless!

It's been a long time since I had a proper tikka masala, or korma for that matter. Damn, dieting sucks!