Wednesday 3 August 2011

Drive 55? Who, me? Pah, I mock your 55 Limits!

I have a dream. My dream may not be as noble or inspiring as Dr Luther-King's dream, but then I am not as noble or inspiring myself.   My dream is simple. I want to take 6 months of my life, and traverse the great heaving mass of contradiction and inspiration that is the USA.

I make no bones about it, I would move to the US tomorrow if I thought I could get a visa. Ever since I was a kid I've had a bizarre fascination with the US and A, to the point where I would find myself fervently twisting the dial (and for once, no, that's not a euphemism) to find the American Forces Network so that I could listen to them broadcasting a baseball game, or a football game (one of the first broadcasts I remember listening to was a Rosebowl game, I don't remember the combatants).  I don't remember when the idea to make a trans-continental road trip first occurred to me, probably during one of my trips to the US, but it was certainly reinforced by a couple of books I read - The Lost Continent by Bill Bryson, and America Unchained by Dave Gorman.  The former is a memoir (published in the mid 80s) of the Author re-creating some of the trips of his childhood having recently lost his father (my dad had died not long before I read it, which gave it a degree of poignancy with me), where he is trying to find the essence of America instilled in one town.  The latter is a journey of epic proportions where Gorman attempts to drive from coast to coast using only independent retailers, hotels, petrol (or gas) stations.  Both really reinforced how much I'd like to do that.

As I was talking to someone about it at work (again, AM - who is getting to be a bad influence on me, I mean I was all pure and innocent before she tried to corrupt me), I had a bit of spare time, so during lunch, I mapped out a theoretical map of the journey. You will see this map lovingly re-created to the left. I will be honest and say I am not sure if clicking it will give you the full size version, if not, then take my word for it, it is a thing of awe and wonder. I am aware that I've missed out a big chunk of the bible belt, as I have the two non-contiguous states, although I would like to go to Alaska at some point, and as I said to AM, I have to say that Hawaii doesn't really get me going, if I went there, it would be to see the USS Arizona memorial, otherwise I could see me getting bored.

Just in case you aren't able to see the full-size map, I start in Maine, work my way down the Eastern seaboard, a couple of days in DC (pretty much all of what I'd probably spend at the Udvar-Hazy centre (aerospace geek, remember - they have the Enola Gay, the Enterprise orbiter (which is due to be replaced by Discovery), a SR-71 Blackbird, a Hurricane, the only surviving Doenier Do335, a Concorde, a F4 Phantom (I grew up not that far from RAF Leuchars, which when I was a kid was a F4 base, so seeing (and hearing!) them zip about the sky wasn't uncommon, they still have a place in the geek part of my heart. Annoyingly, the last trip to the US I made saw me arrive at Dulles, but the one and only time I had a stopover of less than 4 hours, was the one time I wanted a massive stopover, so I had time to go to the Udvar-Hazy centre. I was so disappointed. Anyway...), then down, first major stop off would be a few days in Florida (including Kennedy Space Centre, of course), then back up inland to Nashville (actually, looking at it now, I have no idea why I decided to put a trip to Nashville in there. I hate country music), then zp back gown to Texas via New Orleans for some naked ladies (N.O.) and Tex-Mex food (TX), after a day or two in the Lone Star State, along to New Mexico, a few days in Las Cruces, then up to the Grand Canyon, a couple of days in Vegas (and of course, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas), then off to Cali, up the Western seaboard to Oregon and see if I can get some new trainers, then to one of the cities I've always had an urge to live in for some strange reason, Seattle. By then I would probably want a coffee, so I'm hoping that there would be some kind of coffee shop somewhere in Seattle. If I could get a coffee for a couple of bucks, that would be a star.

After this point, it starts to get a bit convoluted, I'd have to take the opportunity, seeing as I was so far West to pop up to Vancouver for a couple of days, before heading back, through Montana (again, no idea why... is there anything to see or do in Montana?), down to Utah (if I ever won the lottery, I'd create a hockey team in Utah, just so I could call them the Utah Saints and use "Something Good" by the band Utah Saints as their entry music. You are going to Grooveshark or Spotify to find that tune now, aren't you!), whilst in SLC I'll see if I can pick myself up a few wives, then head to Colorado and the Mile High City. After that, up to South Dakota for Mount Rushmore, then meander back east through Iowa stopping at Des Moines, if for no other reason than it's the birthplace of the aforementioned Bill Bryson, who was a major influence in the idea, then Chicago, Indianapolis, Detroit, Columbus, Philly (for a cheesesteak) and then on to NYC, which would be the conclusion of my little jaunt.

Now, all I need to do is either win the lottery, acquire myself a rich widow who has a heart condition, or con charm someone into paying for it all for me!

2 comments:

  1. I believe we all know who is corrupting whom here and for once, I am the innocent party!!! :)

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  2. You know, anyone would almost think you actually believed that. Well, until they spoke to you for, oh, I don't know... 30 seconds? :p

    So, to summarise:

    Me - Pure and innocent
    You - A corrupting influence

    Sounds about right :p I'm sure the crowd in the gallery would agree with me!

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